My Skimpy G String Bikini Makes Grown Men Cry

By Sasha Perrinowski

Age: 19

Celebrity I look most like: Pamela Anderson
 

Career Ambition: Deputy Probation Officer 

Let's face the facts - I am one gorgeous babe. I know it, the girls know it and the boys who come sniffing around know it. I don't want to come across like I am conceited and I'm not saying that I am Gods gift to men but I am damn near close to it.

When I wear my skimpy g string bikini I make men harder than Chinese algebra.

There is something about a skimpy g string bikini on a beautiful babe that makes men act crazy. I don't care how intelligent the men are or how distinguished or respectable they are - men lose their grip on reality. Put a beautiful girl in a skimpy g string bikini in a room full of scientists and before you know it these great thinkers are all acting like 13 year olds. And not only do they act like they are 13 they will say some of the most inane stupid remarks you can imagine. 

And girls, don't even think about wearing a pair of high heels with a skimpy g string bikini. One day I was in my backyard tanning myself when I got an urge for a cherry slurpee. So I put on a pair of black 4 inch heels, got in the car and drove to the 7/11.

Well, when I got out of the car wearing my pumps and skimpy g string bikini and walked into the 7/11 for my slurpee every single man under the age of a 100 stared at me with their tongues hanging out.

When I walked out of the 7/11 this one man - he was an old guy, he must have been at least 35 - walked up to me, looked me up and down and began to weep. Then he got down on his hands and knees and began to beg.

I've always believed that all men are created equal. But you put a skimpy g string bikini on a beautiful babe and that concept goes right out the window.

Sasha Perrinowski